When the World Hurts: A Gentle Note on Sitting with Tragedy
Life doesn’t always make sense.
Sometimes, terrible things happen—sudden loss, violence, natural disasters, or quiet, aching heartbreaks that go unseen. In these moments, the world can feel upside down. Our bodies may tremble, shut down, or go numb. Our minds race to make meaning. We search for the right thing to do, or say, or feel.
There is no perfect response to tragedy.
As a therapist, and as a human, I know how hard it can be to just be with the pain. We live in a culture that encourages us to rush past grief, to “stay strong,” to fix what cannot be fixed. But healing doesn’t happen through avoidance. It happens through presence.
Here are a few gentle thoughts on how we might sit with tragedy—ours or someone elses.
1. Let Go of the Need to Fix It
When tragedy strikes, our first instinct is often to try to make it better. But some pain can’t be solved. It can only be witnessed.
You don’t need the perfect words.
You don’t need a grand gesture.
What matters most is your presence. Just showing up, just staying—that’s enough.
2. Stay Connected to the Body
Trauma often disconnects us from our bodies. We might feel spacey, anxious, or overwhelmed. When sitting with tragedy, it helps to stay grounded.
Try:
Taking deep, slow breaths
Noticing the feel of your feet on the floor
Drinking water or holding something warm
These small actions can help us stay present when everything feels too much.
3. Allow the Feelings—All of Them
There’s no “right” way to feel after a tragedy. You might feel grief, rage, numbness, guilt, fear, or even moments of laughter. This is all part of the human response.
Let yourself feel what you feel.
And if you're with someone else who’s grieving, let them feel what they feel too. Don’t rush them to make sense of it. Just be there.
4. Take Breaks When You Need To
Being present with tragedy doesn’t mean drowning in it. It’s okay to take breaks.
You can step outside. Listen to music. Cry. Laugh. Stretch.
You’re not abandoning the pain—you’re caring for your capacity to hold it.
5. Reach for Support
You don’t have to hold it all alone. Whether it’s through therapy, community, friends, or faith, connection is key.
If you're a therapist, remember: you're human, too. Holding space for others can be heavy. It’s okay to reach out, debrief, or get support for yourself.
A Final Thought
Sitting with tragedy is not about saying the right thing or having all the answers. It's about staying open—to pain, to uncertainty, to love.
And sometimes, the most healing thing we can do is simply say:
“I’m here. I don’t have all the words. But I see you. And I won’t look away.”
If you’re going through something hard, know that support is available. You’re not alone. You’re never too much. You’re allowed to take up space in your grief.